Epiphany

"I live in the Balkans." Sometimes that realization makes me catch my breath.... or pinch myself. Standing on the bank of the Vardar River with a few thousand of my neighbors to watch a cross be thrown into the river on a chilled January day known as "Epiphany" I was again caught up in the wonder of it all.

This California girl who took high school Spanish with Mr. Marelich, but never really applied it, was now bundled up listening to the priest bless the river in Macedonian... and actually understanding more than a fair bit. Most of my days are spent communicating in a strange mix I refer to as Makaenglish: Macedonian in stores, taxis, on the street, with friends and English just as often.

Then there's the cultural learning... somehow after living here for several years I've learned to live with the constant state of cultural stress and ambiguity, knowing that there will always be things, cultural subtleties, that I won't understand. To be honest, there are some days that the stress really wears on me and I'm tempted to pack up and go back to the familiar of "home" in the US...

But then there are conversations over turkish coffee, shared meals, the human connections that happen in the sharing of lives, hopes, dreams, joys, fears..... and days like that cold one two weeks ago where I find myself simply soaking it all in: the people, the language, the culture, the.... the unfamiliarity of this place where East and West converge that somehow has become so familiar in my heart. My personal epiphany I suppose you could say. Yes, I love the people here, the place, the culture.

I live in the Balkans.