Overcoming Incompetence
Moving overseas into a new culture and language is like becoming a child again in many ways. Everyday things that we accomplish without thinking in our home country become monumental tasks in the new one. And our self-esteem? Well, with the steep descent from being a competent adult to a complete incompetent bowl of culture-shock-stress-filled jelly is brutal. Honestly, even the simplest tasks can make you feel like a child again.
I remember....
...the first time I purchased produce in the supermarket... and felt totally embarrassed when they had to send it ALL back with a clerk to the produce department to get weighed and priced as it's not done at the check-out.
...the stress of getting an official-looking paper saying I had to go to the customs office for a package that just arrived for me... and bursting into culture-shock-induced tears as they proceeded to grill me and I couldn't understand a thing they were saying! (fyi, it was just an exercise video).
...breaking out in a sweat when I had to take a bus... not sure I was on the right one, whether it was "private" or "public", how much it cost, baffled about what to do with a ticket if there was one and how to get off at the right stop (yes, there's even a particular etiquette for that as well and if you don't follow it the bus may not stop).
...riding in a taxi and helplessly motioning the directions to where I was supposed to go when I didn't even know the words for "left" or "right" or "stop here, please."
...answering the phone.
...the stress having people say things to me and the complete feeling of being like a "deer in headlights" when I couldn't understand a single word... or worse yet, understanding the words but not having a CLUE as to what they were actually saying.
...the uncertainty about fast food places like the one pictured and, aside from WHAT to order, but how to do it...
...the annoyance of "personal space" being much different here than back in the USA... and store clerks following you around.... to be honest, this particular one can still get under my skin.
...the continued culture-stress reality of learning to live in a constant state of ambiguity.
...my first trip to the doctor when my back went out and being told that I need to turn the air-conditioning off.
...my first trip to apply for a visa... the long dark hallways with closed doors where everyone seemed to know which door they had to go to and what the etiquette was for going through it and doing their business... I was scared spitless, to be honest...
And then there was today...
All foreigners need to register with the local police within 24 hours of coming into the country and then de-register when they leave. When you have a visa, though, that's no longer necessary.... unless your visa expires before they've processed the paperwork for the new one.
That's the situation I found myself in this morning...
When I first came here, registering with the police was SO scary and VERY intimidating! This morning? Sure, I was a little nervous (I mean, come on... who isn't nervous when they have to talk to the police... or when you have one driving behind you--even when you're driving the speed limit?!) But you know what??? It went so smoothly! I simply explained the situation with my visa and the officer didn't bat an eye and was really nice and helpful. I filled out the proper form (IN Macedonian, mind you), turned it in and confirmed that I need to return when my new visa arrives. I felt so... so.... COMPETENT! Especially since it was ALL done in Macedonian! Yay me!
I was so excited about this small triumph that I even called a colleague to share my joy who responded with equal excitement and encouragement for herself about when she needs to do it as well.
Seriously, to some this may seem like a small thing, but for someone who's moved from a country, language and culture with social rules that were part of me to a place where even paying the monthly bills inspired a certain amount of boot-shaking... this is a serious triumph! A celebration of overcoming incompetence!
