Hope is Shattered but Peace Remains

In the process of taking down the Christmas tree today.... Hope just slipped from my fingers and, in a flicker of caught breath, shattered at my feet! Crash! I just stared in disbelief as the sounds of small shards of glass spun and tinkled across the floor boards. "Hope" was part of a set of Christmas decorations that were given to me by a roommate several years ago when she moved back to the US. All that remains now is "Peace". I am so grateful that the hope I have in Jesus is not so fragile as that glass ornament. And like the Peace that remains, so remains peace in my heart because of Him. No matter what things may shatter at my feet. :)

Forgiveness Day

Yesterday was Forgiveness Day here in Macedonia. It's the Sunday immediately before the beginning of Great Lent in the Orthodox church (the traditional fast from dairy and such until Easter). In preparation for the Lenten fast, the faithful are encouraged to seek forgiveness from those they have wronged as well as to forgive those who've wronged them. Church services will center on Jesus' teachings on forgiveness and fasting as found in Matt 6:14-18.

For a really good explanation of this day and the intent and meaning behind it, I highly recommend following this link to an article by Protopresbyter Alexander Schmemann. Here's an excerpt:

"Now, forgiveness stands at the very center of Christian faith and of Christian life because Christianity itself is, above all, the religion of forgiveness. God forgives us, and His forgiveness is in Christ, His Son, Whom He sends to us, so that by sharing in His humanity we may share in His love and be truly reconciled with God. Indeed, Christianity has no other content but love. And it is primarily the renewal of that love, a return to it, a growth in it, that we seek in Great Lent, in fasting and prayer, in the entire spirit and the entire effort of that season. Thus, truly forgiveness is both the beginning of, and the proper condition for the Lenten season."

This is also the time of Carnival celebrations and the best known in Macedonia are held in Strumica. Christopher Deliso, who is a travel writer and lives in Macedonia, wrote an interesting Lonely Planet article about those celebrations back in 2006, and again I highly recommend reading it for some insight into this cultural event and its origins. Here's an excerpt.

"The Strumica Carnival... [also] has pagan origins and, as can be attested to by some of the more titillating costumes, has not entirely lost its ancient associations with virility, fertility and ruddy bucolic health.

The five-day carnival coincides with the beginning of Orthodox Lent...It was originally associated with Trimeri, a three-day period of Christian fasting for engaged girls. Such piety has long gone out the window, but the tradition partially lives on: Costumed processions visit the homes of engaged women, where each must guess which ofthe masked men is hers..."

Now you may be wondering why I'm talking about Lent a week after everyone else started talking about it. Well, this is because Easter in Macedonia is celebrated according to the Julian calendar... that means that this year Orthodox Easter will be on April 19th, which is one week later than in "the West" on April 12th, which is according to the Gregorian calendar. Confused? Well, here's a link for those wanting to learn more about the Julian vs Gregorian calendar history.

The "Day of Forgiveness" as well as the many comments, posts and Facebook statuses regarding the season of Lent have got me doing some deeper ponderings of faith. If you're interested in these personal ponderings, I will be posting them soon to my new blog: TrstngHm. In the meantime, I hope you enjoyed reading and learning some more about life and culture here in the Balkans. =)

Worship Without Words

The soft tones of the piano and the smooth voice of the violin blended in exquisite harmony and followed in measure by guitar, voices, eyes and even a few hands lifted heavenward. Yet out of my mouth came not one sound... still my heart was full as I stood in His presence and worshipped without words.

One of the most frustrating things about being so sick for so long with asthma, cough, infection, etc... was the loss of my voice. Last Monday a colleague called me on the phone and it took me three tries to get any kind of sound to my voice just to vocalize a scratchy, weak and practically whispered "hello". Today at church my voice was still hoarse and scratchy, yet I could talk... though it wasn't pretty. Singing, however, was simply out of the question. And for someone who loves to sing, especially songs for her King, it's, well, words fail to adequately describe the emotion... the disappointment... the discouragement...

Yet this morning was a very good lesson for me as I simply mouthed the words and, even more importantly, pondered them in my heart... and was still before Him. Voice and song are not the only instruments used in worship, though I confess it's my tendency to lean on singing as a primary form of it. Worship's true instrument, though, is really in many ways rather an attitude of heart that is not limited to song, but carries through every moment of the day, through our actions and interactions, through the very the details of life... through living each day such a life that brings honor and glory to the One who holds our heart... it also comes in the quietness and just being still in His presence, knowing that He is God. For me this morning I guess you could say that it took losing my voice to truly find it.

On Two Feet

Today was my first day back in the field office since getting sick. Though I love my job working to support the Balkan field as their bookkeeper, I can honestly say that today I was the most excited I've ever been about heading to the office... simply because I was able to get out of the apartment!

One thing that teaches me is that I'm someone who needs to go to work rather than just work from home. On the other hand, should the need present itself it's nice to know that my little portable external hard drive works well and enables me to work away from the office. I was able to do 95% of the bookkeeping while at home sick and just finished up the remaining 5% today. That's a good thing considering I'm planning on doing the field books while in the US.

Speaking of home assignment, there are a lot of things I need to get done before heading back. One of the big things will be the preparation for the team leaders of the financials they'll need for budget planning as well as field structure planning (in light of the major structural change that was made this past year). Additionally, it's a period of tough financial times for all right now and I believe that may weigh heavily during the budgeting process. Please do be in prayer as we work through this process. We want to be good stewards with what we've been given.

Back to today, it was truly wonderful to be outside and not stuck in my apartment. The weather has warmed up to the upper thirties and all the thick ice that had been coating the sidewalks has melted. It's such a relief! Tonight we also had a team get together, enjoying the wonderful culinary prowess of one colleage while sharing some laughter as well as well as meaningful field-related conversation and planning. It's so amazing to work with such a fine group of people who over the years have also become dear friends.

End note: The thing about this latest asthma struggle I've had is that it's served as a very real reminder of how I am completely dependant upon God for even the simple act of breathing. For someone who is prone to want to forge out on her own and do things in her own strength, it's a good reminder. This life I have, that I'm living, is a very precious gift and I want to live each day to honor the One who has given it to me. On another note, I want to express how grateful I am for those who have been praying for me or even sent encouraging notes during this time. Thank you so much.... I'm back on two feet. =)

Earthquake

Yesterday as I sat on my bed, still sick yet trying to work on reimbursement reports, I was suddenly aware of feeling like I was on a boat. It was a strange sensation, swishy-sway, and I was a bit baffled at first as to what was going on. Then I noticed the lamp, curtains and fan also swaying. Of course the next thing I did was to message a couple of colleagues to find out if they also felt the earth move beneath their feet. They did, so that was nice know that it wasn't just me. =)

Turns out the earthquake yesterday was centered in the Gostovar region of Macedonia and was mostly felt around Skopje and Tetevo. Since it was a swishy-sway rather than a wriggle-jiggle, I assume that it wasn't a very big one, yet here in Skopje any earthquake can shake the memory of the locals as in 1963 the city was decimated by a large one. In fact, the building behind the Christmas tree in the city center was the only building to really survive in the center. The remains of the old train station pictured up top stands as a memorial to the victims, the clock forever testifying of the moment the quake hit. It's been 45 years and the city has rebuilt, yet I imagine yesterdays tremor gave many pause.


As for me, you'd think being from California that I'd have lots of experience with earthquakes, but I must confess yesterdays and its aftershock last night was only the 3rd one I'd ever felt. The first was when I was at college that jiggled me awake one night. The second was about 5 years ago here in Skopje and hit just as I was about to plug in my hairdryer. The sound was like 10 semi's barreling through my apartment. I scurried to the doorway and as I braced myself I was very aware of each and every cinder block rumbling all around me... and all the while praying the foundation was firm and wouldn't fall under the test. Yesterday's quake was not so dramatic, but it was still impressive... and an experience I'd be happy to forgo in the future.

Quote of the Snowy Day

"Tato! Tato!" cried the young boy sitting on a sled in the snow being towed by his father. "Prvo levo," the boy called and then continued with the mixture of excitement and wonder that only fresh falling snow can bring. "i [ee] sega... Pravo! Pravo! Pravo!"

He then gripped the sides of his sled in great anticipation and complete faith and trust in his father that not only would he pull him fast and with a sense of adventure, but that he'd also keep him safe. "Dobro, srtse," says the father dotingly as he begins to pull his son first left and then straight, straight, straight on the powdery path in the city park. Smiles all around.

While this interaction was going on between one father and son, another father was helping his son to build a snowman on his sled. In fact, there were several families out adventuring in the snow with snowball fights and sledding down hills. Witnessing such special moments between parents and children always brings a smile to my face and warms my heart. May the memories made today by these families last a lifetime and may there be many many more such special moments in their lives in the future. =)

I was so inspired that later while I was killing some time in a cafe with a coffee I had some fun doodling the event.

11,900 Christmas Boxes Arrive

Last night when I arrived at church for worship practice there was a GINORMOUS SEMI parked in front and filled to the brim with thousands of Christmas boxes and a flurry of activity as church members and local volunteers pitched in to unload them. After practice I lent my hands as well to unload the last few hundred boxes, becoming one person in a baker's dozen chain passing two to four boxes at a time from the parking lot down into a large room.

And as each box passed through our hands I took special notice of the wrapping. There was fancy paper, snowmen, and Christmas trees, some even had decorative ornaments and while others sported hand-crafted designs and hearts. The one that really stood out, though, was wrapped simply in brown paper, but which contained a child's artistic rendition of the nativity. It must have taken that little girl or boy hours! It was so beautiful. Each present was prepared with special treasures and wrapped with care for children that the giver does not know but wants to give a precious gift. And each one will bring such joy and smiles to children all over Macedonia (and around the world as thousands more are delivered worldwide).

In total between this semi and another one there were 11,900 Christmas presents that will be distributed to children through organizations, churches, orphanages, schools and in villages. Please pray for the children who will be receiving these gifts, and please also pray for the beautiful hands of the givers and deliverers.

Just a few things I'm thankful for....

The last pie for tomorrows Thanksgiving meal with colleagues is in the oven and I thought it would be nice to take a moment and express some things for which I am thankful on this special day:

• The Lord's provision in every way
• For the love and support of my family even though they may not always get what I'm doing
• Delightful conversations with nephews thanks to Skype.... gosh they're growing in to such fine young men
• Dear friends who are content with the reality of limited connectedness when I'm overseas, accept that our time together is brief while I'm in the US and who support and pray for me through it all.
• Colleagues who've become dear friends and family away from family
• That I get to live in a fascinating place, do what I love and be apart of something much bigger than I.... and getting to see and hear the resulting stories...
• For new colleagues
• For new friends locally and from many different countries
• For laughter, lots of laughter
• For girl's days out and trips to our favorite hair stylist
• For snowflakes and fireflies
• For the "girl Friday" without whom I don't know how any of us would make it through the visa process... she's amazing
• For the support and encouragement of those back in the US
• For city heat and radiators that dry the clothes in winter
• For the simple and wonderful Christmas card carrying a greeting and prayer already received in the mail
• Language and cultural coaches/teachers who are so patient
• For the many lovely life conversations in these past few months
• For those who've spoken into my life over the years, encouraging me or challenging me to grow.
• For sweet friends who loan me pie pans so I can make the pies in the picture for our team Thanksgiving dinner. :)

Funny how what I thought would be a short list has become much longer... frankly I could keep going. :) It's a good perspective check for me, though, to really reflect upon the Lord's blessings and to give Him thanks for everything. A good exercise for each day, I think.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Day of the Dead - Macedonia

Halloween, something my nephews in the US are dressing up for as we speak, is not celebrated here in Macedonia. Tomorrow, however, is observed and is known as the "Day of the Dead" (aka. "All Soul's Day"). On this day families will go to the grave sites of their departed loved ones, clean the headstone, clear away debris, light candles for prayer, place flowers and have a meal. It's believed that the person's spirit is able to come and partake with them.

It's interesting to me the many traditions that are associated with the death of a loved one. I read on Wikipedia that in Orthodox tradition it's believed that from the moment of death that the person can visit the living for 40 days. Then on that 40th day the family again goes to the grave site and serves the same traditional meal items that were served graveside the day of the funeral (bread, wine/drink of some sort, something sweet, etc.). Again, it's believed the loved one's spirit partakes with them one last time before heading away from the living and into the afterlife.

As I ponder these traditions my thoughts go to those who are still in or just ending that 40-day period... I imagine this time is especially difficult for them, and I wonder if the traditions are as well, like tomorrow and the"Day of the Dead." I lost my own father several years ago and can keenly identify with the heart-ache of losing someone you love. Yet, there is a Hope that comforts us in our loss far more than anything else ever could. The hope of eternal life found in the One who has triumphed over death and its sting. As I consider this "holiday" and what meaning it may hold for so many, my heart is tugged to pray for them. Will you join me?

A Haunted House, Church and Fellowship

This Sunday, after an extra hour of sleep (yipee!), we arrived to find the school where we meet bedecked with a scarecrow and several school childrens' uniquely carved pumpkins. Saturday night had been the schools annual Fall Festival and inside the gym the left-overs from the haunted house needed to be cleared before we could set up for service. No worries because we had several extra helping hands thanks to the "fall back" time change! :)

As usual worship practice was full of last-minute tweaking, laughter over silly little things, vocal warm-ups, guitar tuning, sound-checks and proofing of slides on "One Note." Even with the necessary detail that is "practice", it was an especially nice practice as it seemed this Sunday we got past the logistics more quickly than usual and entered purely into worship, focusing on the One for Whom we sang.

Come beginning of service, the gym that had been a haunted house the night before was transformed into a hallowed house as we prayed, worshipped through song and received a message on Jesus' resurrection and faith. As summer is now fading into memory the seats are fuller each week as expats from all over find there way here, finding a church home. After service the fellowship, laughter and deep and light conversation continues next door in the schools cafeteria that is more like a delightfully quaint cafe.


In breaks between my own conversations I simply took in the sights of candid moments:

• two ladies engaged in light conversation about their week and how their children are doing
• three little girls sitting around a small table, legs swinging in joy as they sipped their milk or juice and mused little girl musings
• a little munchkin perched on the bar (coffee) totally amused by the barrista making silly faces for her
• the box of homemade ginger-snaps disappearing with each blink of the eye
• discussions and planning for the weeks homegroup meetings: when, where and open invite to new attendees
• a ladies easy laughter a something her husband said
• two men in deep discussion of theological import
• a proud father holding his little baby who squeals in pure delight in his daddy
• the group of adults crowded around the counter ordering macciato's, cappuccino's or "sour water" (aka. bubbly mineral water)
• children scampering around and through the adults legs, playing in the school yard or on the schools Foosball table
• people from literally all over the world drinking coffee, eating cookies and enjoying one another's company and fellowship, forging friendships

Little by little the groups disbursed to head home, to other points of ministry, or to continue the conversations over lunch. For myself I walked out with a couple friends to the main street where we mused about the detour down the road and if it was for the motorcycle race and yes we'll see you at class. Bidding them farewell I decided to enjoy the day and walk home rather than hailing a taxi. Just around the corner I ran into one of the people from church who invited me to join their family for a скара lunch (aka. grilled meat... something Macedonia does awesomely). What a lovely time we had talking about all sorts of things (including a little cheer for Liverpool's win over Chelsey)!

Several full and delightful hours later when I set out for home, it was darker than I'd expected for 5:30pm, but then again a time-change will do that. The streets were quiet and colored with fall leaves, the night air a bit chilly... but my heart was full. Yesterday was a great day. A day that started with church in what had been haunted house the night before, and ended with full and candid fellowship moments.

No Getting Used to It

***this is a re-post from my old blog site***

There she was, lying on her side on a piece of cardboard, sleeping. In front of her a baby bottle half-filled with juice and a box for people to drop money in. She must have been barely 18-months old. She was "sleeping" so soundly, she was so still, that I had to look hard to be sure that she was breathing. Nowhere to be found was any adult.

Believe it or not, sites like this are "normal" here in the city and always stir up a riot of conflicting emotions inside: anger towards a mother who would do this to her child; compassion and heartbreak for the state of need; and helplessness in what to do in the face of it.

I'll never forget one day when it was over 100 degrees and two children were "sleeping" on their cardboard in the scorching heat, with no shelter or even water, while another begged for money. In other places in town beggars will carry their inconceivably passive infants in their arms (or sometimes dolls--pretending that they're infants) and weave in and out of traffic begging for money. Children also work the cars at stoplights, washing windows with dirty water and rags--whether you want them to or not. Then they practically hang on your windows until you give them money.

I was in one persons car where the child hurried to the front of it as the driver tried to pull away. The pre-teen put his hands on the hood and pushed--as if to stop us from driving forward.

I've also seen the children literally hang on foreigners legs begging for money while another one tries to pick their pocket! And still others will even dumpster dive regularly to get cardboard and other "recyclables" or even food that the rest of the community has cast off.

In many ways these people seem like the "cast-off's" of the community itself.

Thus is the situation that we all face in one manner or another no matter where we live. Do you walk on by? Do you give money? Do you give food? People say that giving money only perpetuates the problem. Yet Jesus says to give to each who asks of you. How can I walk by? How can anyone?? But what can be done?

Jesus would talk to them, would meet them where they're at. He'd touch their hearts because He knows them. He'd offer to them Living Water and the Bread of Life. He'd introduce them to the Father. But I don't even know their language (I've learned a different one). When I do give water, juice or bread, do they know that it's given in Jesus' name? Is it enough?

These are not questions that I think I'll ever be able to answer. There was just something about that little passed-out toddler that tore even deeper into my heart than usual. This is something that we face here every day, and personally, I do help as the Lord leads, but at times like the other day, it's just so hard to take it in. It's something that I'll never get used to... though, perish the day I do.

Healer... Live in the Light

The other night I saw the breaking news story on CNN International about the pastor in Australia who has done the hard thing and come clean with the truth. His body was being wracked with some illness that was eating away at him. For two years he'd convinced people that he was dying of cancer. He'd even written a song about having faith in the One who could heal him, called "Healer." His story and that song inspired so many.

Now the testimony that once inspired so many has now brought many of those same people to disillusionment. As we all know now, it was not cancer that was ravaging him. It was sin. Such was the power and the shame of that particular sin that he kept it well hidden, in the darkest places of his heart, and went to extraordinary measures to keep it out of the light.

That was the part of the story that stood out to me and is the focus of this blog. His story illustrates so tragically, so painfully, the power of sin and the importance of living in the light.

There are consequences to his coming clean. Sin never is just about us... it hurts others, and many people are now hurt, angry and feeling betrayed by his deception. Many people will struggle with forgiving him and not holding on to the anger or bitterness. I wonder if he too will struggle with forgiving himself? After watching an interview, it's not clear what finally motivated him to come clean, but one thing's for sure, he's living in the light now, facing it all. And that's the thing: since it IS now out in the light, healing CAN happen.

When I first heard about this I thought: "Well, God has answered peoples prayers and is indeed bringing him healing... though just not in the way that we/they all thought He would." By coming clean and bringing the sin out into the light, or rather letting the light shine into the dark places, the sin and shame no longer have power over him and he can be healed.

Now this brings me to the song. Much has been said about pulling it, that it's a fostering of a lie... yet I respectfully disagree. Sure, when I first listened to it, I couldn't help but taste the bitterness of the lie that stood behind it publicly. But then I listened to it again.... and I heard the desperate cry of a man, who knows he's sinned greatly and needs a Healer. I believe that song perhaps came from the most honest part of his heart. A cry of faith at it's deepest for his Savior to heal him, to set him free from that sin that so entangled him.

Something about that cry must resonate in our own heart. For I wonder how many of us have lived where that pastor did, putting on a public mask, hiding from others in our struggle against sin, living a double life, burdened by guilt and shame? How many of us are there now? When faced with our sin, don't we too cry out, "Oh Lord! Heal me! Please set me free!" What about those who can't even bring themselves to pray for the weight of the guilt and shame of having failed again... and when they do finally turn to their Healer all they can get out is, "Lord, please.... please help me." In that song I hear the baseline of those cries and faith that placed firmly in the One who saves and yet in the melody there is also the tone of victory sounded out in great promise for He has set us free!

There is such freedom that comes as we let the Light shine into the dark places of our heart. Yes, it is painful. Yes, there are consequences. But it's so worth it to break free from the bonds of sin and shame that would hold us in darkness rather than in the Light.

I believe there's a challenge to each of us in this. First of all, are we truly walking in the light? In humility and repentance, honest with ourselves and God that we are "ragamuffins" (to use a Manning term) and trusting Him to complete what He's begun in us. Then, do we have someone with whom we can be real? Accountable? Someone who will pray with us through those struggles? Are you such a person? Are you a safe place for another, where they can be real with you?

If you don't have such a person in your life I strongly encourage you to pray the Lord bring such a person into your life, that you find one. Frankly, I'm very grateful for two ladies with whom I can be completely honest about everything. They challenge me, encourage me, pray for me as well as keep me accountable. I can't begin to express what a blessing it is to have them walking with me... and I pray for you such equal blessing.

Let us be such encouragements to one another, that we may all live in the light and in freedom.

My heartfelt prayers for the pastor, his family and the congregation... indeed for all those who've walked a similar path. May the Lord bring them healing and restoration.

GCF Walk: Blues Brothers & Little Gems

He looked at my camera, shrugged his shoulders, and said with a note of amazement: "This is the first time I am seeing these paintings." Zoran, my market guy, was really surprised to find out that they were only a small block away from his store in an alley off of a main street he drives every day to go to work.

Truth-be-told, I've walked and driven by that alley hundreds of times, knew the "Blues Brothers" caricatures were there, but never really paid attention to them. How easily we miss the little gems right in front of us because we're so quick to get from point A to point B!

As I've mentioned before, this GCF Walking has been good for me in that I've been more observant of the things around me. One of the things I've noticed a lot of is graffiti and random pieces of artwork. So, in preparation for my next tally I thought the "Blues Brothers" caricatures would be good ones as they were cool-looking and fit with my graffiti theme for my tally updates...

Imagine my astonishment to enter the alley and to find these gems of art right next to them! How did I miss them all these years?? There was a sign for "Blues Brothers" next to a door and I wondered if this was in fact a blues cafe or something. That brings us back to showing the pictures to my market guy, Zoran. He wasn't even aware of these paintings' existence nor that of the club. Needless-to-say he's intrigued and says he's going to investigate and get back to me about what he finds. What fun if it turns out to be a blues/jazz music club.

Again, like myself, Zoran has passed by this alley for years and never noticed these little gems that have been there all along. As I think of my life lately, how busy I've been in the office, how many late nights and how many rushed transits to work, I wonder how many gems I may have passed by in regards to people, relationships, etc? Just a little food for thought.

On another note, though, I have to say that I'm really thankful for locals like Zoran and his wife who teach me so many things about the language and culture as we interact every day. Would you join me in praying for them? Thanks.

*******

These past two weeks I've only been able to walk minimally due to heat, work responsibility, etc. I was able to drive a good bit, but now that the city's filling back up and parking spaces are once again non-existent at my apartment, my driving days are once again on hiatus. :(

All that said, here's the tally:

8.5 miles walking, 12 driving, Week's savings: $14.98
Sub-total for August: $23.43 and counting

Thanks for walking this walk with me.

GCF Walk: Week 5 Reflections

Today is Saturday, my day to catch up on all things domestic. Besides cleaning the kitchen, mopping, re-arranging cabinets and changing sheets, I pulled out a stack of ALife magazines. I tend to hang on to them and over six years I've collected quite a few. It was time to purge. So, with the sounds of the Olympics and men's gymnastics coming from the TV as background noise, I started the project.

This week is a reflection less on a GCF walk than a pondering of those feet who've gone before me as well as those with whom I'm walking now.

At first I was just going to toss them all, but couldn't do so without perusing them and even clipping a few. As I leafed through the pages I paused on one story after another. Soon what started out as a quick project became a quiet-time of sorts: reading again the stories, challenges and prayers of so many and marvelling at the testimony and rich history represented therein. As I read on, pondering, praying, there were moments of tears and many smiles. Most often, though, my heart beat faster with a sense of passion, of call, of determination, of renewed desire to press on and to keep walking. Only half-way through the stack and I'm completely humbled by such a great cloud of witnesses, to be even a small part in this legacy of faith.

Now here's a confession: "I'm just a bookkeeper" is something I've often said... sometimes I say it just as a statement of actual job, but other times I've said it with meaning, having let in the lie that somehow what I'm doing is not real ministry... that somehow it doesn't stand up to the real work of my colleagues. Now don't get me wrong, there's no doubt in my heart that I'm exactly where Father wants me and doing what he's gifted and called me to do... it's just that working in the four walls of the office day after day I sometimes lose track of the bigger picture....

As I prepare for my next home assignment, I do struggle a bit with what I should share. What stories do I even have to tell? I sure don't want to bore people to tears with refried beans. Then today, as I read the stories shared by my colleagues and the lives that have been touched because of their ministry, the Lord chastened me... He reminded me again that I'm here doing what He's called me to do so that they can do what they've been called to do... and together we are His team... it's His story and that's a story worth sharing!

Can you hear it? It's the sound of the "four walls of the office" crashing down and my again seeing the bigger picture.

Rather than simply tossing the ALife's, I had the idea to clip all the articles, life-stories and snippets of info or prayers related to our field and to put them into a scrapbook. I think I'll also add some quotes or short stories from my colleagues email letters. Then, to finish things off, I think I'll add several of my photos (if you haven't already guessed, photography is one of my hobbies). The end product will be a coffee-table book that I can go back to on those days when I may be discouraged, or feeling like the four walls are closing in, to remind myself of the bigger picture. It's also something I can take back with me on HA to share with you, to share His story.

Thank you for so patiently and prayerfully walking with me.

*******

GCF Walk: Week 5 Tally
July Total: $46.51
Aug So-Far: 8 miles, $8.45 and counting (it was a really hot week)

Symphony of Peace

This statue has always fascinated me. Why was such an seemingly terrible piece of art in the middle of town? It just seems so violent, the birds crushing one another against the world. The image always reminded me of seeing birds fighting in mid-flight or of the little bird that would follow and torment a crow while flying. It wasn't until this past January 1st, while strolling around town in the new-fallen snow, that I actually stopped to read the plaque.


"Симфонија на Мирот" when translated means "Symphony of Peace." Knowing the given name of this piece of art simply confused me more. It just seemed so incongruous with the image of doves pile-driving each other against the planet.

Yesterday after I picked up the mission vehicle from the repair service I again passed this statue and again pondered it's seemingly mixed message. Then it hit me. Doves are widely viewed as symbols of peace. There are three of them, and as this is an Orthodox community, most likely represent the Holy Trinity (Father, Son and Holy Spirit). The fact that they seem to be crushing each other against a globe is more likely meant to be a pressing of peace into the world, perhaps as if to infuse mankind with eternal peace from God Himself. And further it then makes sense to me that this artistic "prayer for peace" be situated in the center of a city, where East meets West, in the middle of the Balkans where there has been millenia of conflict.

People long for peace to transform their lives and their communities. True and ultimate peace comes from the Prince of Peace who can renew and fill hearts and transform lives eternally. Would you join me in praying for such peace?

GCF Walk: July Tally & Reflections

It's a little hard to believe that July is already over. It's been interesting how people have gotten on board with this idea of walking in an effort to save some budget funds. I've heard from many people that they're experiencing a financial crunch as well and are looking for creative ways to save... and yet even amid personal difficulty we've seen more people give out of what little they have.... and it's humbling.

Out of all this, the "walk" and people's responses, it's reinforced for me more deeply the idea that we're walking this "walk" together... Each day as I've put tennie to pavement, driven or taken a taxi I'm reminded of those who have prayed for or encouraged me in my call over the years and am filled with gratitude. I know I couldn't walk this "walk" without you! Too I am humbled that I can take a taxi when needed because of those who've given so sacrificially. I think too of those who are poised to head out to the field, to leave so much behind to to answer a call to "Go" and those who are sending, supporting, praying for and cheering on these newbies... As we pray, give, send and go we're truly "Living the Call Together." :)

As mentioned before I will be continuing the GCF Walk through the month of August. The "GCF Walk" will be dropped, though, from the header and the daily tally will be dropped to a weekly one. This is to allow me some more flexibility with the different types of posts that I make. One series that I'm really looking forward to, though, is the one I'll be doing in September. You see, Ramadan (or Ramazan) begins on September 1st and runs through the month. My desire is to share a bit of the culture and local traditions associated with the fast like "Iftar" and "Bajram." :) Stay tuned!

As always, thanks for walking with me.

*******

Week 1: $10.78
Week 2: $18.33
Week 3: $8.60
Week 4: $8.80 (includes driving)
Total: 38 miles and $46.51

Would you be willing to match that savings with giving to the GCF?

Street Signs With Significant Names

In contrast to the US where street signs are prominently displayed on street corners and the numbers spray-painted on the gutter, the street signs here are not so easy to find.

They are a navy blue with white lettering and typically posted on the sides of buildings, gates or fences. The numbers are small squares in the same coloring. The trouble is that they're not so easy to see from the street. However, now that I'm walking to and from work each day I'm actually finding them!

Something that has fascinated me about the different signs are the names that they bear. Here's some examples of the types of people, events and places the streets are named for:

"Hristo Smirnenski" - a famous Bulgarian poet from the early 1900s

"Ivo Lola Ribar" and "Partizanska" for a Croatian man and a group Yugoslav communists that fought against the Axis powers of WWII

Revolutionary leaders like Vladimir Lenin ("Ленинова") and Gotse Delchev (led revolt against Ottoman Empire)

US Presidents Franklin Rosevelt ("Fr. Ruzvelt") and John Kennedy. I've even heard rumors about naming a street after President George W Bush as a "thank you" to the US for recognizing Macedonia's constitutional name.

Notable days in history like the Ilinden Uprising of August 2, 1903 where revolutionaries siezed control of Krushevo from the Ottoman Empire. It was summarily crushed 10 days later but in 1944 on that same date the state of Macedonia was born and became part of the Yugoslav Federation.

October 11, 1941("Oktomvri") which began Macedonia's fight for freedom from Bulgarian occupation

May 9th for WWII's Victory Day when the Germans surrendered to Russia

Religious holidays like July 13th ("13 Јули") known as Petrov Den or St. Peter's Day.

"Havanska," "Vashanska," "Oslo" and "Londonska" are in a neighborhood where all the streets are named after cities of countries that helped Skopje to rebuild after the devestating 1963 earthquake that leveled about 70% of the city.

From the different names of streets throughout the city one gets a pretty good idea of what things, events or people are held of high cultural import to the locals. As I pondered over this while walking to work this morning the song "Where the Streets Have No Name" by U2 kept coming to mind. Bono apparently wrote it in response to the fact that in Belfast one could know what religion a person was simply by knowing the name of the street on which they lived and longed for a place where the streets had no name.

For some reason that song, the idea of a place where the streets have no name, makes me think of heaven as such a place. I like the idea that the great street of gold would have no name because the Name above all names will be there. Yet the gates will have the names of the 12 tribes of Israel and the apostles' names will be inscribed on the walls' foundations (Rev 21:12-14). So I wonder if the streets may have names after all? Ones that, like those here in Skopje, testify of the City's import, it's values, it's culture. Names like "Faith," "Hope," and "Love." Or maybe they would be descriptors of the One like "King of Kings," and "The God Who Sees." Who knows... One thing I do know is that I look forward to walking those particular streets every day for eternity. How about you?

Thank you for taking this journey with me.

Day 8: $26.96 and counting.

Piles & Piles of Watermelons

Each day on my walk I pass by several street-vendors and right now they're piled high and wide with kilos and kilos of watermelons grown right here in Macedonia. Welcome to the land of seasonal fruit!

First out in the late spring were the strawberries. A couple weeks ago it was cherries. Right now it's apricots. And all summer long??? It's watermelon. Sweet. Juicy. Watermelon. Also known as Љубеница (Ljubenitsa). Honestly the best I've ever had has been right here in Macedonia. (And they're not even seedless.)

Doesn't this picture just simply make your mouth water?!? It was taken a couple years ago by an SPD district short-termer. Many thanks to J.Kennedy for sharing this photo. :)

Last night I enjoyed my first mouth-watering taste this season right before worship practice. Some friends were in the church kitchen having a late lunch and offered me some of their lovely fruit. It was soooooo good. Even better, though, was the easy chatting about the weather (aka how HOT it's been), if and where we're planning on going on vacation this summer and about stone dolls and waterfalls and other places of interest around the country. Good times.

The next crop of seasonal fruit that I'm looking forward to are the figs that will fill the vendors stalls next month. But that's another blog. Speaking of other blogs, the idea of eating and cooking seasonally was blogged quite eloquently by a colleague and friend of mine. You can find it here.

Passing these piles and piles of watermelons each day I'm inspired and further motivated to pray for the day when we'll see piles and piles of an altogether different type of fruit. Will you join me?

Thank you for walking and praying with me.

Day 7: $22.66 and counting.

Apricots & Meeting New People

Walking home yesterday in the waning light and heat of the day I came across a couple people picking apricots from a tree weighed heavy by them. On a whim I stopped and asked if I could take a picture of the tree because it was so beautiful. They graciously accepted and from the look on Marija's face (the mans mom) I think she found the fact a foreigner wanted to take a picture of a tree quite amusing.

I showed them the picture as she handed me a handful of the sweet fruit to try. "Се чист!" Branislov declared proudly to me as I tried one. Oh it was so good! Then I asked if perhaps they'd like me to take their picture and bring them back copies. They got excited and gathered together around a small palm tree with his wife Slavitsa for a family photo. I asked if they wanted any others and they excitedly called their children over from the playground across the street!

The young boy, Andre, was about 10 years old and stood as proudly and manly as he could for his portrait. When the 7 year old Marija (named for her grandmother) arrived with her другарки (best friends) her older brother insisted he'd like a picture with just his little sister. The brother put a protective yet proud arm on her shoulders and she looked like she thought her brother was a real live super-hero. I have to tell you, it was a very sweet moment as you could just tell how much these siblings adored each other. Then came little Marija's turn with her BFF's. All the while I was taking photos I enjoyed a nice conversation with Branislov and his family.

Just before I bade my goodbye Slavitsa handed me a bag full of the wonderful golden fruit and I promised to be back in a day or two with the photos.

Meeting and chatting with this lovely family totally made my day. Macedonians are some of the nicest people and I enjoy them so very much. I was also thankful for this special moment with locals because I've been missing contact with the people lately as I'm more involved in the International church (another amazing group of people, btw) and with walking now I'm also missing out on some great taxi conversations. And yet because of a whim for a photo of a gorgeous tree I made a new connection with a lovely family.

Who knows what other new people I may meet along the way or what golden fruit may come from it one day. Thank you for walking with me.

Day 6: $19.08 and counting.

*******

Weather note: It hit 100+ yesterday... while today the river wind "повардарец" (similar to the Delta Breeze of Sacramento) has come in and cooled things down to the wonderful mid-to-upper 70's. Ahh! Walking to work this morning was SOOOO nice!

Caught in a fierce storm

This week it's supposed to hit 100+ degrees and you can be sure that I'll still be carrying an umbrella. You see, I learned that the hard way on the walk home on Thursday.

Halfway home I could tell that I was just on the front edge of an incoming storm cell, but I thought I could out-walk it. The first few drops came down yet I pressed on. I mean really, a little rain never hurt anyone. Next thing I know the wind kicked up, the lightening electrified the air and the thunder? Well, I felt it all the way down to my tennie'd toes.

"Must find shelter," I thought to myself as I wondered if I could survive gettin' struck by lightening. I sought refuge underneath an awning with several others. I was only about 1/3 mile from home and did not want to basically cancel out the GCF walk home by taking a taxi. So after waiting there about 15 minutes I decided to brave it and started walking.

Yes, I can be a blonde sometimes.

I made it about 500 yards before I sought shelter under a much smaller awning. Good thing too because what I thought had been a fierce storm had only just begun to unpack it's fury! The wind whipped first from one direction, then another, then it seemed to come from everywhere. The rain? Oh, so much came down and so hard it was like God let it loose from the deepest storehouses . The gutter puddle in the picture eventully swelled to meet the one on the other side of the street. [My camera battery died so this pic is from the beginning of the storm and doesn't really even show how bad it got.]

As I waited on I again marveled at God's power and the lyrics to a song by Mark Roach came to mind. And since no one was around to hear me (as if they could above the roar of the storm), I smiled at the irony and sang.

As the words and melody rose out and joined the storm it was like God Himself added His percussion and voice to it. It went something like this:

"So let the walls around me crumble"
Lightening flashes
"Let the wind and rain come through"
Thunder claps
"I can face it all as long as I have You"
Wind whips from all sides punctuated by more bolts
"Let the earth beneath me tremble"
Thunder rolls shaking windows and my heart
"Let the enemy pursue"
Rain increases in intensity
"I can face it all as long as I have You. As long as I have You."
All the above simultaneously.

Any fear I may have had dissapated as I sang for the One who made it all. It was really special. The storm seemed to fade into the background as there, in the middle of it all, I found myself alone with Him.

Then a bus drove right through the puddle in front of me and sent it like a wave in my direction. I jumped back with arms up and face turned sideways... and was able to miss getting hit. Barely. At that point the storm had been raging for about 45 minutes and I resigned myself to the fact I'd have to take a taxi home.

Sigh. And I was so close. Yet, to subbornly continue on foot in such a furious storm was folly and I knew it. And I also knew that next time I'd take the Boy Scouts advice to "always be prepared" and be sure to pack an umbrella! :)

If you didn't already click the link above, click here to link to YouTube and a video clip of Mark Roach singing his song "As Long as I Have You," the song I sang in the middle of the storm. Maybe the next time you face a storm either of nature or of life you will also be reminded of these lyrics and be able to find yourself alone with and resting in Him.

Thanks again for taking this walk with me and for your giving to the GCF that paid for that taxi-ride home. :)

Day 4: $12.63 and counting

****End note****

When I got home I found the streets surrounding my building were all flooded. Infact, it was so bad that once inside my building I was greeted with the sound of a waterfall! The garage level of my building had flooded and was draining down the stairwell into the basement! Wow. Not something you see every day is it?