Grateful for God's Provision

I just heard that salaries will not have to be cut due to some generous donations that came in to the GCF this past week. Thank you for those who gave so sacrificially. Frankly I cried when I heard because I'm just so grateful for the Lord's provision... not just for me, but for all my colleagues and the ministries that they're a part of. I'm also crying because of the reminder that we serve a King who owns the cattle on a thousand hills, and when He calls us to do something He will not abandon us and will provide for our needs.

Now when we were told about the cut, it was a shock, but in in the end in my heart I determined to trust the Lord to supply for our needs even WITH the cut. I believe that was an important lesson for me to grapple with this past week, and even though our salaries are not going to be cut, it's a lesson that I want to translate more fully into my own life. I want to learn to be more of a sacrificial giver, not just of money, but of my time, in relationships and even through work. This life I live belongs to the ONE who gave all for me, sacrificed the ultimate in total selflessness. I'm just so grateful for His provision and long to be more like Him.

I wanna be a dog

But I have the attitude of a cat. At Simpson a speaker once spoke on “Dog and Cat Theology” and I confess that many times I am more like a cat. I want things the way I want them and engage people and situations on my terms–-including (gulp) worship. The speaker punctuated the point by saying that sometimes when we worship, honestly, what God may hear in the music of our attitude is “It’s all about ME, Jesus,” rather than, “It’s all about You.”

This past week I’ve been choking on the hairball that is my ferocious felineness. Since being back from HA, I’ve been singing with the worship team for the International Church here in Skopje. And since David’s come back from the US, he’s been introducing us to many MANY many new songs, which really challenge us singers in the areas of reading music, learning new words, and finding the harmony.

The thing with parts is that every part needs to be covered. Since Soprano and 2nd Soprano were covered, I sang Alto, which having never really done it, was a stretch for me and I didn’t like it. Meow. My cat attitude hissed as this fact. I wanted to sing one of the other parts because I know them so much better… come, sing with me, “It’s all about ME, Jesus….”

Oh! Can’t you just hear the obnoxious whine of the screeching cat in that me rose up and drowned out any and all devotion in my heart last night? I knew what was going on inside me, but (gasp) didn’t pray to the Lord about it. Then at the close of practice, during our prayer time, one person prayed something like, “Lord, thank you for this privilege we have to worship you. These songs are not just empty words, but our heart of devotion to You, for who You are and what You’ve done in our lives.”

CONVICTION!! *hak* *cough*

It was then I choked on the hairball that had been ferociously forming around my attitude and desperately prayed to the Lord to make me a dog. To not care about what I may look or sound like, but to be wholly devoted and loyal. To just be happy and filled with love for being in the Masters presence, tail wagging with shear joy. And happy to obey whatever command He may give me.

Now, I must clarify that I’m not dissing on cats. I love cats. I'm very allergic to them, but I love them. But when it comes to my attitude, I wanna be a dog.

It is actually ironic to me that this attitude rose up. An Alto part is an underscoring part, one that supports the others. You may not be able to pick it out in the harmony, but when it’s not there you can tell the difference. Hmm... kinda like being a bookkeeper here in the Balkans, supporting a team of church planters, evangelists and teachers. Being a small part in a much bigger picture, or rather, symphony, of the Lord's here and around the world.

I’ve asked for forgiveness and everyone's been so gracious. I’ve started the day again on my knees, praying the Lord change my hearts song. “It’s all about YOU, Jesus…” And on Sunday, Palm Sunday, I will wag my tail with sheer joy just to be in His presence and will gladly sing whatever part He has for me in this symphony of His.

Woof.

Welcome to my Blog

Welcome to my Blogger Balkan Update Blog. Many of my colleagues are using this format so I figured perhaps I should switch as well. Right. We'll see how it goes. :)

As this blog mentions, yes, I am a bean-counter living in the balkans. The team I work with has over 23 people spread throughout the Balkans and working in up to 5 different currencies -- and they're a bit happy I'm doing the bookkeeping for them so that they don't have to (think root-canal with no novocaine) -- and can be about their work. :) Actually, I feel quite priveledged to do the things I love in order to support the wider work of the field. (Yes, I actually like counting beans - though admittedly, sometimes I'm just full of them)

My hope is for this blog to be a mix of humor about living in the Balkans and cultural adjustment and life in general to news of how God is working here in and through quality people. Oh yes, and a dash of tediousness (aka. bookkeeping notes)... or, rather, refried beans. ;)